I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
