Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
