The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
