We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
