i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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