remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
