how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
tell your sister to shave her snatch
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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