alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
