I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're too hungover to prance.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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