I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
