i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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