C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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