Christians are straight up FREAKS
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
