Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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