I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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