Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
