is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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