It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
