i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
