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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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