Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
His hands were made for my vagina.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
