You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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