i barfeds in our rink
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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