I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
