There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
