you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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