I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
