I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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