Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
