I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
