I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
