Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
