You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
