Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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