i already hear my dad disowning me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
