how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
