Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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