He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
