Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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