Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
