Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

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(513): View more from Ohio

you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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(360): View more from Washington

All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car

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(512): View more from Texas

it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other

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