ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
