I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
