why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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