i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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