i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
