I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
