i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
