All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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