I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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