My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize